Monday, August 19, 2013

don't sweat the small stuff...

It's not a brand new concept but one that carries quite a bit of wisdom. Don't sweat the small stuff. I'm not someone who, left to my own devices, tends to not sweat the small stuff.  I'm a sweater of small things.. one of those people that generally gets really overwhelmed by life.  I've always hated that about myself... getting all flustered by the little things.  Not my proudest quality, but alas something I deal with.  I'm one of those people that often feels like she is sort of barely holding it all together... and by "it all" I mean life tasks.  I feel like I deserve a medal on the days that I've done the dishes AND put the laundry in AND found time to take a shower.  And I can't actually blame this on having a child.  Yes, it makes it harder, and makes me focus on how difficult it is for me MUCH more, but sadly I've been this way my whole life.  I've learned a lot about myself over the years and I can go into why I tick the way I do in another post, but one of the things I tend to have to work on is breathing and not letting the little things get to me.  Don't get me wrong, I have miles of patience for others outside of my close family circle, so some people are shocked when they hear this about me, but I tend to snap very quickly with those closest to me.  I'm often trying to just get through the day remembering to do those little life tasks that everyone has to do.  So when Andy comes home and says "What's for dinner?" before I may have remembered to plan that far (and by that far I may or may not mean like 15 minutes out) it's so easy to find myself snapping at him feeling like a volcano about to erupt.  Why didn't he notice that the baby is fed and the kitchen is half cleaned and I swept up all that dog hair and I remembered to feed the dogs twice today AND let them out to potty multiple times and I got beau down for his naps on time... and.... and.... ughhhhh!  So then I become a jerk and have a tone and am generally snippy and well... am just not the picture perfect wife waiting at home with dinner on the table and a beverage in hand for him when he walks through the door :)  He realizes we're all broken in some way and he knows that I get overwhelmed, so he's very patient with me most of the time.  But it's not fair to him (not the dinner/drink part but the snippy tone part) and I desperately don't want that to be the example of communication that beau grows up with, so I'm hell bent on "being the change that I wish to see... in my house".

So last week the Ellen show was on in the background. Do you like how I have to throw in, "in the background" to let you know that I don't sit around watching tv all day, because that would imply laziness, and I'm really trying really hard to get sh!t done around here!  One of her guests was a woman who was celebrating her 105th birthday that day.  I couldn't believe how young she was for 105.  She was SO incredibly sharp... she seriously looked and spoke like a 75 year old.  Actually, I've seen some 75 year olds who were less "with it" than her, so you really can't put an age on her sharp-as-a-tack-ness. So Ellen asked her how she does it and she said, I've always been a very happy person.  I had a very happy marriage (something like 69 years I think?  Her husband died when she was 100), and I don't sweat the small stuff.  I realize that if I can't do anything about certain things that happen in life, then I can't worry about them.  
Woahhhhh, I thought, imagine not worrying about the things we can't control and letting the little things go!  Again, this really isn't a new idea, but it was one of those eureka moments for me and it's stuck with me ever since.  This blog itself often focuses on the awareness of my worrying.. my over thinking... my tossing everything around and ruminating and, and, and... what if I could control some of that and just let sh!t go! This woman was truly inspiring.  I'd love to be healthy and live a long happy life.  And yes, I'd like to think that I'm generally a happy person, but we can all be happier at times; more grateful, more forgiving and more compassionate while trying to be less judgy, less critical of ourselves and others, and less hung up on the little thing.  I can honestly say that when I remember this... when I remember to count my blessings and to just let the little things roll off my back, I smile more.  I'm warmer to my husband. That makes him warmer with me.  I'm not judgy, critical or naggy.  I truly feel lighter and happier and I don't attach so much meaning to every little 'off moment' in life.  So for now, it's working and I plan to continue to not sweat the small stuff.  Laughing it off and saying, "welp, life happens". That's what I want beau to grow up seeing and doing.  So every time I feel that little boil in my belly from say... bumping my hip into the corner of the table (something that would normally get me all hot and angry and make me feel the need to have a mini- or maybe major -outburst) I just breathe and think don't sweat it girlie.  you got this.  And I move on.

Don't sweat the small stuff.  We all know it but sometimes we just need a little reminding.  Life is so much bigger and more beautiful when we don't focus on the dog hair and the dishes. Take care of them, but move on.  My family is beautiful.  My husband is wonderful.  We're not perfect (don't lie and act like you are), but we're happy when we stop to smell the roses.  And the little moments like these are the roses:

You know how kids write their homework or reminders on their hands?  Well I may be almost 34 years old, but I've been known to write on my own hands from time to time.  There is nothing wrong with writing pearls of wisdom on your hands if you ask me, so stop judging and get out your Sharpies!  

DSTSS people.  just don't.  

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