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Tuesday, February 26, 2013

The Tired Hamster

So here it is almost 6 months after Beau was born and I've had so many thoughts running through my mind... a gazillion really... about things I'd love to sit down and blog over.  But up until now I've always opted to sleep whenever I get a (rare) spare moment and so it seems that the hot topics of my mind have often passed me by.  So many thoughts and decisions and highs and lows have come and gone.. (and cycled their way back in, because hey, over-thinking is what i do best.), and yet I always talked myself out of writing about them.  Lately I'd been thinking about the fact that my first blog, Journey of the Bump, was created for sharing my professional life as a doula... aka all things pregnancy and birth. And yes, while that melded into my personal life as I began my own journey into motherhood, I sort of froze once the posts (in my head) were no longer about my work.  I thought "no one would want to read about that... it's not about being a doula."  So I've decided to put an end to that concern and just start a separate personal blog to share this journey of motherhood that I'm taking.  Just wee ol' me trying to figure out how to be the best mother that I can be while learning as I go.  No professional opinion or advice, but a voice that I know many other new mamas can clink their one late- night glass of wine to... a place to commiserate.  I had NO IDEA how helpful that would be prior to having a baby.  But once those littles arrive, you find yourself scouring the internet at all hours of the night for just a nugget of like-mindedness from someone else going through it with you.  So here's my nugget offering :)

I've also wanted something to look back on in the future to remember this amazingly special time in my life. I'm really seeing how fast this parenting journey flies. You hear that one all the time... "don't blink, before you know it they're grown", but oh. my. god... It's unreal.  I also want Beau to have something to look back on and read when he's older. Oh and I want to share my life with my friends and family since nowadays it's that much harder to pick up a phone and catch up with anyone.  And within all of those things, what I really want is clarity of mind, and maybe a smidge of peace and harmony~ and quite frankly I often find it through writing. I didn't say anything about good writing (or correct grammar)... in fact I love that I have my own little place where I can write exactly the way that I think or speak without worrying about formulating a sentence correctly...because let's be honest, these days I'm so tired that I can hardly think of simple words that I want to say, much less a proper sentence! So I vote for real and authentic over proper.  K.. you've been warned.

The name of my blog, The Tired Hamster, is devoted to just this.  One tired mama who has a tired ass hamster running constantly on a wheel of thoughts in her mind... all the time.. never ending.  Worrying, over-thinking, trying SO friggin hard to make the best decisions, the right decisions, trying to shield my baby from pain or harm (or germs!) without completely sheltering him (...too much), and trying to play detective and doctor all in one each and every day so that I can "figure out" this amazing little person and all that he goes through... all the while realizing that I'll never really figure him out, and then realizing that I actually don't need to... (ha, told you I may no longer make any sense!).  It's late, it's a rough start.  But I wanted to at least get my butt on here and type something.  Anything.  I've made some new friendships through this whole motherhood thing and deepened some others along the way.  One of my friends and I like to refer to our motherly craziness as our hamster just cycling away in our minds... {you know who you are, Loblolly!}... and hence The Tired Hamster was born.  So here we go.  I hope I can find the time to make something of this little space, and for those of you who would like to join in my crazy, you are welcome to follow along!  (Come on...Don't even play like you're not cray too!)

OH.. and I'm crafty too.  ha.  I've always wanted to post my many DIY's somewhere... and I may end up starting yet another blog for that because for some reason it seems that I need to compartmentalize my various interests, but I'd like to think that I can add them here.  So while I reheat my tea for the millionth time today and kick up my heels, I'm excited to begin this new little project that I can hopefully find time to enjoy :)    

3 comments:

  1. bravo, mama! so proud of you!

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    1. cb I don't have the necessary emoji's to communicate with you in this capacity!

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  2. so funny - i just started writing one today! more of a sarcastic approach - and to help my memory b/c my journal has been written in like 4 times! I agree, love reading blogs that resemble what I'm going through right now! Good luck to ya, i'll be checking it out:) http://mamadramablog.org/

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